Disorienting

 I'm at my 35 college reunion. I haven't really kept up with anyone from my time in New Hampshire, but still, it's a great place with great people.

It's just that I don't know them.

Like, I recognize their faces. I see their names. We have shared memories of youthful hijinks. 

But I don't know them.

Because the person I was, the people they were, no longer exists. We have become new people. 

I was fairly unhappy in college. Some "imposter syndrome" and just not great and being social (some things never change). I wasn't miserable, but I ducked in and out of depressive episodes. Luckily, I'm not that guy anymore. I have a family that means everything to me; I have a career that gives my life meaning and purpose. I have found peace, and that peace is built on strong foundations, and some of the names on the bricks in that foundation are theirs.  But they also aren't those people any more.

So, I've been struggling with this disorienting sense of disconnection all weekend. Which - when I think about it - is me reliving some of those emotions from 35 years ago.