Blog Credo

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

H.L. Mencken

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

You Know It's A Slow News Week

Next up on Crazy People News...

Ah, Newt.  The Disgraced Former Speaker and now Mayor of Grievance Town has found a bone.  And by God, he will chew that bone.

Apparently, Robert DeNiro made a completely inappropriate joke that is the worst thing since 9/11 times infinity.  Just take a moment to consider what this awful, awful joke might be.  A joke so awful, President Obama must not only rebuke, disavow and censure Mr. DeNiro, but also revoke his Oscars and send him into exile with Roman Polanski.

Here's the joke.  Please, I apologize if your delicate sensibilities are about to be offended.

"Callista Gingrich, Karen Santorum, Ann Romney.  Now, do you really think America is ready for a white First Lady?"

Are you still conscious?

First of all, Callista might be the whitest person on the planet.  I've seen copier paper with more pigment.

Second, it's pretty clear what's going on here.  Newt, as a the arbiter of what the media can and cannot do, has been waiting for a chance to change the subject from Rush Limbaugh. They tried with Bill Maher, but for whatever reason, that never really had traction.  Maybe because Maher is so patently a full-service asshole that it was hard to make him stick to the Democrats.  But DeNiro is a longtime liberal fundraiser and icon.  (And I think his girlfriend is, you know... darker hued.)

The contraception/Limbaugh thing is really hurting Republicans.  Newt is a thundering asshole with an overinflated reputation for brains, but he can read poll numbers.  There is no way the GOP can be competitive if women break too heavily for the Democrats.  And that's what is and will happen.

Finally, this fits perfectly into the psychology of the Right.

Despite being very white and relatively wealthy, the GOP is latched on to its victim status like a barnacle to a pier.  I can't possibly go through every example, but let's just run down how HARD it is to be a wealthy, white man in America today.

-Christmas and Christians are under attack, constantly.  You can't say "Merry Christmas" anymore and sharia law is on its way.
-Helping people buy private health insurance is the greatest assault on liberty in this country since Cornwallis left.
-ACORN is stealing votes and busing in people to rig elections.
-OWS is raping white girls.
-Raising taxes on the wealthy is right out of the Marxist-Leninist playbook.
-Feminists are trying to cut your balls off and hang them from the rearview mirrors of their Subarus like fuzzy dice.
-My guess that as I write this, a poutrage is starting about how Peyton Manning took Tim Tebow's job because Christians can't get a fair shake in this country.

To the people whom Newt Gingrich communicates with through the antenna in their tinfoil hats, DeNiro's joke is just another example of how the MSM holds conservatives to a higher standard than they do liberals.  Because DeNiro's joke is just as bad as calling a woman a slut.

Don't believe me?  Ask Newt.

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