Dear Dr. Rice, Here Is Your History Lesson For The Day

Don't know much about history/Don't much about geography

http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2011/11/condi_rice_pearl_harbor_letterman.html

So, Condi Rice is on Letterman, saying that 9/11 was the first time we had been attacked on our soil since the War of 1812.  I guess "Remember Pearl Harbor" is no longer operative.

Rice doubled down and said that Hawaii was a territory, and not a state, and therefore does not qualify.

OK.  I'll bite.

In 1846, the US and Mexico both claimed the land between the Nueces River and the Rio Grande.  In fact, Mexico still claimed Texas, but whatever.  To force the issue, Zachary Taylor established a fort at modern day Brownsville, Texas.  He was attacked at the battle of Matamoras and the Mexican American War was ON, baby!

OK, it was disputed territory.

On March 9, 1916, Pancho Villa attacked the town of Columbus, New Mexico killing ten soldiers and eight civilians and launching a punitive expedition under Jack Pershing to find Villa and bring him to justice.

OK, Villa was an outlaw and not a state actor.  If you include him, you would have to include the 1993 attack on the World Trade Center and shut the hell up!

At various points in 1945, the Japanese released balloon bombs that floated over the Pacific and exploded over the Pacific Northwest.  Foreign nationals?  Check.  US states as opposed to territories?  Check.

So we can leave aside German U Boats launching attacks on shipping in American coastal waters.  We can leave aside the battle of Ambos Nogales fought between the US army, Mexican troops and German marines in 1918.  We can leave aside the Japanese submarine that shelled a refinery in Santa Barbara in 1942.  We can leave aside Matamoras and Pancho Villa.  We can discount the Caroline incident, when Canadians crossed the border and seized a ship used by Canadian rebels.  And we can even discount the Japanese balloon bombs.

Because, you see, what matters is that Condoleeza Rice be right.  The facts are unimportant.  The existence of smoking gun/mushroom clouds are irrelevant.

Dr. Rice has learned well from her mentor and boss.  You are never wrong.  You are never, ever wrong.  The facts just need adjusting.