And just when we thought the Santorum jokes were fading away...
To build off what I said last night in between commercial breaks of Justified (really looking forward to a kidney-less Dickey Betts plot next week), this is certainly a monkey in the wrench for the GOP machine.
It's not that Romney is no longer the frontrunner, even if he has lost more than he's won and Santorum has won more states than R-Money.
No, because you see no delegates were awarded last night. Think about that. In descending order of competitiveness, Missouri, Colorado and Minnesota are all "swing states". A few thousand voters wandered out on a frosty night and let the world know that they preferred the overwhelming charisma and animal magnetism of this guy:
Basically, without R-Money's ability to flood the zone with Super PAC money, the voters were left to their own devices to select from between a political chameleon with great hair, a septuagenerian, racist crackpot, a bloated, gaseous egotist and a guy who thinks sex is incredibly icky.
They overwhelmingly chose the last guy. I mean overwhelmingly.
And what could be really interesting is that the GOP establishment still pretty much controls who gets the delegates. So when all these state conventions finally meet to award delegates, and they mysteriously choose R-Money over the beauty contest winners... Well, the Teahadist outrage should be fun to watch, and this in states that will actually matter in November.
Ricky Santorum is beyond a God bothering, fetus fetishist. He is a prime example of the "forced birth movement" for whom all sex should be at least potentially procreative. Here - I hope (nope, gif didn't work) - is a short clip of Santorum expounding on his feeling about human sexuality:
Go get 'em!
What happens now?
Santorum does not have the negatives that Newt had. In Newt's case, everyone who ever worked with him pretty much hates his guts. People thought Paul was attacking Newt because he was sucking up to R-Money. I think he just hates Newt. The guy is so toxic he gives his wives terrible illnesses.
Santorum's negatives are tougher to pin down. Yes, he's a bigot, but anti-gay bigotry plays pretty well in the GOP primary. R-Money will go after his K-Street credentials, which are pretty significant. Ricky was a bag man for Jack Abramoff and Tom Delay, and the GOP mandarins knows where the bodies are buried.
By any normal standards, Paul and Gingrich would drop out, but these are not normal men or normal times. St. Paul the Evangelist burns with the zeal of the fanatic, and he will march on to his martyrdom and be nailed to his cross of gold. Newt, the arsonist, is going to burn some s--t down.
Normally, I have nothing but contempt for the polity of Arizona. They gave us Joe Arpaio and the bizarre freakshow that is Jan Brewer. They introduced draconian anti-brown people laws that have more in common with Jim Crow laws and apartheid than with 21st century America.
But they are about to become America's toilet bowl, as R-Money and his band of merry nihilists are about to unload a torrent of filth upon that state. Millions of dollars of the worst possible character attack ads will rain down on poor Ricky's head like airborne sewage.
Still, if anyone can swim through a river of filth and come out clean, it's Rick Santorum.
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